Fancy a virtual cuppa, some co-regulation and calming cats? *An intro thread...*
Fancy a virtual cuppa, some co-regulation and calming cats? *An intro thread...*
Come and say hello, or just sit alongside us. No pressure.
Kia ora koutou/Hello everyone! 💕
I wanted to make an introduction post so new people can get to know who is already here. So grab your favourite bevvie in your favourite mug. You know you have one, and here’s a photo of mine (it’s the floral pīwakawaka/fantail bird mug):
Where are you from? What brought you to Substack? Are you neurodivergent, or just neuro-curious? How much do you already know about perimenopause/menopause? What do you wish you had known sooner about autistic perimenopause? Do you come here often? (Oops, sorry. That last one is from my pre-marriage dating script from a couple of decades ago.)
I’m Sam, mother of two neurodivergent kiddos. I am London-born, and now live in the stunning Aotearoa New Zealand. I’m late diagnosed autistic (at age 38) and ADHD (39). Better late than never is definitely the case here!
Self-identified PDA (pathological demand avoidant/pervasive drive for autonomy - because things weren’t complicated enough…) I foolishly thought I would have it all together in time for my fortieth birthday and could finally live the neuro-affirming life my family surely deserve. Things would start looking up, right?!
That was when things really started crashing down. Publicly - because at this time I had just graduated from the New Zealand Comedy School, and I could not remember my lines on stage. Wah! So live stand up comedy was a short lived hobby…
It took another couple of years to realise that my capacity and cognition/working memory were diminishing, The Rage was beyond my control, and my self-care skills were regressing. Simultaneously, my periods started to change. Intuitively, I knew it was something “hormonal” in origin, but it would feel like a lifetime before I would really understand the calamity of autistic perimenopause on my own functioning.
I am 43 now, and currently a shell of my former self. It has been near impossible to find any writing, research or resources on the topic, so here I am sharing my lived experience to contribute to the slowly growing, but urgently needed, collective body of work. What little research I do know about, I write about here at The Autistic Perimenopause: A Temporary Regression.
And I have cats because, otherwise, what is the f#*king point in any of this? *gesticulates at life*
📣PSA 📣 Please refer to the Monash University’s Meno-D rating scale if you have any concerns about your mood or depressive states during the menopausal transition. You can take your results along to discuss with your doctor.
Fun fact: I last scored a 33, out of a possible 48! Feel free to share your current score with us all in the comments. Totally understand if you would rather not though…
The categories are low energy, paranoid thinking, irritability, self-esteem, isolation, anxiety, somatic symptoms, sleep disturbance, weight, sexual interest, memory and concentration.
Here is a mental health first aid post from my archives that you may find helpful:
Come and share your cat photos, and why not tell us all about yourself at the same time in the comments? This is a safe space, and there will be no tolerance for discrimination: pet photos of all species are welcome here.
If you have a Substack publication, please share a link with us so we can all get to know each other and enjoy your work!
Sending virtual weighted blanket hugs and many regulating hours of your favourite boxset/Netflix series your way…
Sam 💕
Thank you for the invitation 🙏☺️
I live in a static caravan by ten lakes in north Lincs (England).
I’m here to share my story (& insights) as I believe it’s the fastest way to spread the message that we can create a life of our own design, no matter the shit show we may find ourselves in)💩
I’d describe myself as neuro-curious. I’m finding neuro-divergent people feel welcome in my space which I adore. (In fact they always have even in my before times now I come to think of it🤔).
It was disability by chronic illness that was the catalyst for transformation in my case. This led me almost immediately into a journey of learning how to rebalance my hormones (pretty much self-taught with the masterful work of Dr Claudia Welch). 6 years on, age 44 I am supremely thankful for this🙏✨
What I wish I’d known sooner? That menstrual migraine is due to imbalance in our hormones. Hormones are not the culprit. The imbalance is. 💙
I am here to serve people living with chronic migraine who are waking up to the truth that they matter, their health matters. This is my highest performing post on a struggle I’ve come to find so many of us share, the struggle of slowing down:
https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/on-slowing-down
Lovely introduction and photos! I've grabbed a cup of mint tea to say hi! Late self diagnosed autistic and adhd here, more definitely once we went through autism diagnosis with daughter about a year ago. I'm 51, perimenopause started probably 45/46 I think. I think 48/49 was the hardest patch, now onto menopause and still lots of symptoms but mentally much better, I'm on antidepressants which definitely help as I can't take HRT or even topical oestrogen. Meditation has helped a lot. I have been in a big ME/Fibromyalgia flare up for the last year which has drastically reduced the size of my world, I am not getting out much but the positive is that I have done a lot of painting which I love. It has been a revelation joining Substack this year and finding so many people experiencing similar things. It has made me feel much less alone with chronic illness, neurodivergence and menopause!! I'd say my mood fluctuates a lot! Hour by hour!
I'm in Hampshire UK, live with husband, two daughters (one back off to uni to do masters soon, the other still at home) and two guinea pigs, and for a few weeks some field mice who got in, but they're humanely trapped and released. Two chatty frogs in the garden, one living in a bucket which magnifies his call! Off to do some painting now! Wishing you all a happy weekend xx