I live in a static caravan by ten lakes in north Lincs (England).
I’m here to share my story (& insights) as I believe it’s the fastest way to spread the message that we can create a life of our own design, no matter the shit show we may find ourselves in)💩
I’d describe myself as neuro-curious. I’m finding neuro-divergent people feel welcome in my space which I adore. (In fact they always have even in my before times now I come to think of it🤔).
It was disability by chronic illness that was the catalyst for transformation in my case. This led me almost immediately into a journey of learning how to rebalance my hormones (pretty much self-taught with the masterful work of Dr Claudia Welch). 6 years on, age 44 I am supremely thankful for this🙏✨
What I wish I’d known sooner? That menstrual migraine is due to imbalance in our hormones. Hormones are not the culprit. The imbalance is. 💙
I am here to serve people living with chronic migraine who are waking up to the truth that they matter, their health matters. This is my highest performing post on a struggle I’ve come to find so many of us share, the struggle of slowing down:
Hi Amber, you are welcome and thanks for accepting 😊
I read and loved your slowing down post, thanks for sharing it here with us all!
I just Googled Ten Lakes and it looks stunning! I always wanted to visit the Lake District, but haven't made it up there yet! We want to go back to the UK again soon to visit family and friends. The boys haven't been back since we moved for NZ and they want to go to places like Old Trafford and the National Railway Museum in York. I don't know if that is close to the Lakes? I think it's an ADHD thing, but I have little concept/sense of space or time. Which is amazing because my spatial awareness for parallel parking and stacking a dishwasher is exquisite, ha ha! I think that's a case of autism contradicting, complimenting and masking the other. It's all weirdly complex and the reason so many of us are late diagnosed. It all goes to shit in midlife.
I haven't heard of Dr Claudia Welchj, do you have any info you could share please? Lara Bridem is big news here in NZ on the natural treatment for meno, but I am way beyond that. HRT/MHT is life-preserving medication for me and I wouldn't be here any more without it. But I am sure loads of other people in our community would find it invaluable to learn about alternatives.
Yes, I agree about the imbalances. In the case of autistic perimenopause, it's the enormous hormonal fluctuations that are so dangerous. In my case, it has looked a bit like bipolar disorder although I don't think I have that condition. But I could soar and then plummet - I guess it was undiagnosed PMDD all along.
Thanks for encouraging us all to slow down - it is such an important message to live within our capacity 💕
I mislead you a little with the ten lakes…there are ten lakes but the sure is called 7 Lakes Country Park and it’s in north Lincolnshire, not the lakes. I’m slap bang between Scunthorpe and Doncaster so you wouldn’t know such beauty lay here😆 and yet it does 🙏☺️
I used to live in York, that’s North Yorkshire and I was living East Yorkshire (when I moved back to Yorkshire from the north east 4 years ago) before moving half an hour here (only very just across the boarder) so not that far away.
One of the members of my healing through writing circle writes about autism and adhd contradicting, complimenting and masking the other, she’s really insightful in her writing, I’m hoping to persuade her to come join us here as a writer.
I’m hearing a lot about midlife and this through the likes of yourself. It’s deeply concerning.
The book I read of Dr Welch’s is Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life. It’s a big read and a lot to take on. There are so many hormone books, many easier to digest. I’d recommend us (whose interest is sparked) in reading up on hormones whatever stage or age we’re at. It’s the complexity of migraine disease and hormones that I especially loved though. I’ve written a few posts on hormones, balance etc. was interviewed on my hormone journey earlier this year (all on here).
We’re fortunate to have medication that helps support us - I hear a lot of great things about HRT. When it works like that, I’m in! Taking it mindlessly and it not to be working (taking it out of mass desperation anyway), and going against what my body says, is where I’m out.
I am so sorry to hear you’ve been living with PMDD undiagnosed all along. There are enormous gaps in knowledge, education and training that is leading to only exacerbate and further complicate our suffering. I hope that by so many of us sharing our stories and in building communities around that that we are here to change that🙏
My geography is awful, thanks for the explanation though! Sorry, I am so exhausted, burnt out and generally unwell today that I haven’t been able to reply. I am just jumping on here briefly now before (NZ) bedtime. 😞💤
Please share a link here to your interview when it gets published! 😀
Sorry to hear you feel so rubbish today. Please never feel you need to read or reply. There is no expectation from me, only understanding.
The interview was for research purposes though I’m trying to encourage her to write a book sharing a selection of stories like mine and others. It’d be especially good to see one such as yours in there.
You can follow the interview I turned into a series of blog posts here for now:
Lovely introduction and photos! I've grabbed a cup of mint tea to say hi! Late self diagnosed autistic and adhd here, more definitely once we went through autism diagnosis with daughter about a year ago. I'm 51, perimenopause started probably 45/46 I think. I think 48/49 was the hardest patch, now onto menopause and still lots of symptoms but mentally much better, I'm on antidepressants which definitely help as I can't take HRT or even topical oestrogen. Meditation has helped a lot. I have been in a big ME/Fibromyalgia flare up for the last year which has drastically reduced the size of my world, I am not getting out much but the positive is that I have done a lot of painting which I love. It has been a revelation joining Substack this year and finding so many people experiencing similar things. It has made me feel much less alone with chronic illness, neurodivergence and menopause!! I'd say my mood fluctuates a lot! Hour by hour!
I'm in Hampshire UK, live with husband, two daughters (one back off to uni to do masters soon, the other still at home) and two guinea pigs, and for a few weeks some field mice who got in, but they're humanely trapped and released. Two chatty frogs in the garden, one living in a bucket which magnifies his call! Off to do some painting now! Wishing you all a happy weekend xx
Hello, yay for your mint tea! I am in bed with a coffee in my favourite mugs and both cats sleeping on me. Joy!
You have been through so much, but I am glad things are now looking up. That must have been so hard dealing with the hormonal rollercoaster without HRT. I can't even begin to imagine 😭
Meditation and painting sound like the ultimate pairing to help you push through! I guess you can express so much and a whole range of moods whilst painting, amazing!
Hampshire is gorgeous, I have family who live there!
Whose are the guinea pigs? I love rodents, ha ha! My cats would love some field mice but no such luck. We live in the sand dunes so have more of a problem with ant infestations than anything else!
The guinea pigs were a 17th birthday present for my daughter a couple of years ago when a neighbour accidentally got a male and female and babies quickly appeared, she had to go away for a few days and asked us to pop in and feed them, so that was it we were doomed when the babies needed homing! We'd previously had guinea pigs but not from tiny, these two are total characters, chat a lot and stand up on back legs and leap about a lot. Popcorning which is apparently a sign of a happy guinea pig. The standing on back legs like meerkats we haven't had previous guinea pigs do!!
I'm hoping with gradually settling hormones that my awful ME and Fibromyalgia flare up will settle. I'm finding it hard to not be able to do much at all. x
Popcorning is the cutest! I love guinea pigs. We considered getting some before deciding on indoor cats instead. We have to be strategic about doors and windows being opened now, so the cats are currently outside in the freestanding catio whilst we air out the house. I had hamsters when I was little 🥰 🐹
I hope your ME and fibro flat settles soon. I’m only able to do the bare minimum currently too. As my doctor said, the GnRH-a treatment has rendered me temporarily immobile. I’m a total mess. Can completely empathise with you 😭 💕
I had hamsters when I was little too! Thanks, I hope things improve for you soon too! Bloody hormone imbalances!!! Soooo hard! Worse than being a teenager and I don't say that lightly! X 🫂💕
Thanks, and yes it is so much worse! At least it is expected of a teenager, and I have regressed so much on skills I have had to learn the hard way through adulting. It's an absolute nightmare! ☹️💕
Janey here, in my attic, with a decaf espresso, looking out above a few rooftops to the sea - Aberystwyth, far west of Wales.
Nearly 70 (how did THAT happen!?), recently self-diagnosed ADHD, with a light-bulb moment, in which all the shit-show of my life fell into place 🙄.
Menopause was a non-event for me - never had many hormones anyway 😂
But here I am anyway, roaming tentatively around the lake which is Substack, dipping my toes in and out, unready to commit as yet to writing. Though I have written all my life.
Ah, all my life! What a shit-show, to be sure!
Don't think you want to hear about it - certainly not in public!
But SO glad to be here with you all...sending flexi-yoga hugs from me and my hound xx
Kia ora Janey! Lovely to have you here, and so glad you found us all 💕
Ah the late diagnosis grief and regret is real. But also liberating when it all finally makes sense! Looking forward to reading your writing and reflections when you feel ready to share! Enjoy your view out to sea with your hound, just about bedtime now for my cats, kids and I! x
Hi everyone! Sorry I'm late to the party. I write The Autistic Mom here on Substack. I've been in peri-hell for some time now. Reluctantly back on antidepressants since last year, which helps somewhat. But my functioning has been all over the place. Some days are quite debilitating, emotionally and cognitively. Nice to know I'm not alone, but wish it was an easier time.
Hi Julie, please don’t apologise! Let’s just be glad the party wasn’t cancelled, given how low on capacity we all are currently! 😭
I’m glad the antidepressants are helping somewhat. Mine are amazingly invaluable, in my enormous range of midlife medications and HRT. It’s all so unfair that these lows coincide with parenting ND kids who take more energy than average, when we have so little to give 😭
I am Chloë, 46 years old. I live in Frome, Somerset. UK and dream of a life by the sea. I had my son at 38 and am a single parent. Definitely neuro-curious. Pretty certain my son is ADHD and thinking I possibly am too... I have a total block around completing his ND forms and wonder if there are also elements of PDA with us both. I often feel completely dysfunctional. I think I have been in perimenopause for the last 5 years or so but also traversing the terrain of chronic illness/autoimmune. I have endometriosis, possibly fibro and MCAS. Really don't want any of it. I was prescribed HRT months ago but so far not taken it - anxiety about it making my symptoms worse/PDA. I currently feel very unhappy about my life but have loved beginning to write publicly here on Substack, connecting with women in similar situations. Currently lying in bed whilst my son and his friend sit on screens. Happy the sun is shining, I miss having more energy and being able to trust my body to enjoy it ☀️☀️
“I often feel completely dysfunctional” sums up my life pretty well too 😆
I got married at Orchardleigh in Frome, what a beautiful part of the world you live in!
PDA is an autistic profile, so that would make you PDAuDHD, like me ha ha! PDA autistic and ADHD. Fun times. I can never convince myself to get anything done. It’s endlessly frustrating so I totally empathise.
We have screens here to regulate and survive easily day too. But it’s definitely a way for ND kids to legitimately socialise so it’s all good.
My GnRH analogues treatment is also used for endo, I think? Although you would need to be on HRT to get it, I think. It’s knocked me for six, so no small undertaking.
I’m currently flat out in bed with a persistent sore throat and sore ear and generally run down. Can totally empathise with the fibro and MCAS stuff too. I have discussed chronic issues with doctors but am repeatedly dismissed.
How funny! Orchardleigh is beautiful 🏡 PDAuDHD I have not heard that one before. The screens thing is really tough for me. Knowing how much is regulation and when enough is enough. Thank God I am not the only one feeling dysfunctional 🤩
I've not heard of GnRH analogues will have a look into it. Has HRT helped you? So hard to get anyone to listen re the chronic stuff.
Hope you begin to feel more energised soon and rid of the weird fluey symptoms. Lovely to meet you on here xx
Lovely to meet you too, Chloë! I’ve written about my GnRH-analogues experience thus far if you want to look through my archives. No success yet but I need my own hormones to flatline and my estrogen receptors to be adequately saturated. Although I’m no doctor and not giving any medical advice 😹
I’m just trying to compile it all here though as there is very little information or research on autistic perimenopause 😿
I hope you’re feeling far more energised soon too! 💕
Very happy to have discovered this space! I am almost 48 years old, self-diagnosed autistic since age 45. I am sure ADHD is in the mix, and definitely PDA. I write here about the experience, together with musings on books, poetry, teaching, and nature: https://rebeccadmartin.substack.com/ ...I'm looking forward to learning from you.
So glad you are here, Rebecca! Thanks for the link, I just subscribed. A fellow autistic trained teacher. We are everywhere, yet the educational systems the world over are so inhospitable to neurodivergence. It doesn’t make sense! 😭
It really doesn’t make sense. We bring such particular giftings and strengths. The students—especially the ND ones—need us, and yet the traditional school environment is stacked against our success. I hate that.
I just done the meno-d test 🤦🏻♀️ 37!!! So thankfully I visited the dr on Wednesday and he suggested I try anti depressants again, I was reluctant(they didn’t help in the past) but agreed.
It’s a brand Iv never heard of before, im hoping they get me over this hurdle.
I’m 48 in November, I think my peri symptoms started around 40 but it was hard to pin down as I’d just undergone therapy for trauma, and had a baby at 38, so over the years I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines(since childhood)FND, IBS, then ADHD.
If you have any low fodmap recipes, please share…ibs has been in an awful flare, near impaction(tmi??) and it has floored me.
We have dogs no cats,my cat baby Bella was killed on the road and it broke my heart.
Today I plan to just rest mostly, I’m out with my daughter tomorrow so I need to reserve energy.
I did take a pic of my fave mug but not sure I can share in a comment 🤔
Gosh, 37! Glad you’re getting on the anti-depressants. I hope they kick in quickly for you. I remember when I started on mine I was totally numbed out to all emotions. It was pretty scary as my husband and kids were decorating the Christmas tree trying to get me involved and I could not move. The GP said that was a symptom of my dose being too high. It was neurotypical dose. Now I’m on half a pill of Sertraline daily but I think the usual adult dose is closer to two pills.
I don’t have any low FODMAP recipes, sorry, but I can totally empathise. I’ve been denied an IBS diagnosis many times now, yet remain symptomatic 🤷🏻♀️ I hope it settles for you soon.
I’m so sorry to here about your kitty 😿
I’m super paranoid about that so for many reasons, including traffic, ours are inside cats. They are ragdolls so can get stolen easily 😭
Annoying that we can’t share photos in the comments. What’s that about? It’s an odd feature. It would be great to share photos. Wah 😭
I didn’t really correlate my symptoms to being depressed, mostly due to most of them being memory, cognition etc…so I was taking myself down the neurological road(especially as I have these fnd episodes), that being said, I’m hopeful they do help.
Yes it would be good to share pics!
What time is it in New Zealand?
When I met my husband, his dream was to have a little bookshop in New Zealand 😔 but life brought him here with me instead…poor sod!
I first read your message at 3am here when my cat was threatening to vomit on my bed. I took him to the bathroom where he withheld said vomit because his dare I encourage him to produce it on a tiles floor rather than on my bedding or carpet. It is now coming up to 9am Sunday morning, so I’m coming to you from the future ha ha! I have yet to find where he eventually puked 🤮 😭
If it makes you feel any better, I live by the beach, which is stunning, and my house is in a tsunami zone. I hate it, but the SSRI helps 😹 😿
Sorry. What a messy ramble. I’m sick in bed, and my filter appears to be broken.
Hormonal/reproductive/menopausal depression isn’t like classic depression symptoms, which is what makes it so interesting but dangerous 😿
Also, because it’s hormonal in origin, the treatment is also hormone therapy. We get prescribed SSRIs but usually don’t help with the symptoms because what we really need is oestrogen. I’m now on patches, pills and gel - helping I can be sufficiently estrogenised soon.
So if the anti-depressants don’t make a difference soon, go back to the GP for HRT.
Oh I already take hrt…a godsend for the rage and the hopeless feeling of needing to run away 🙏🏼Now it’s more a lack of functioning, so we will see how it goes. It’s SNRI — Venlafaxine.
You’ve told me about the SNRIs before, haven’t you? That they help with managing ADHD symptoms too? Sorry! I barely remember my own name at the moment so can’t hold onto any other information 😿
The lack of functioning. Yes!! Soul destroying. I’m there too 😭
Thank you for the invitation 🙏☺️
I live in a static caravan by ten lakes in north Lincs (England).
I’m here to share my story (& insights) as I believe it’s the fastest way to spread the message that we can create a life of our own design, no matter the shit show we may find ourselves in)💩
I’d describe myself as neuro-curious. I’m finding neuro-divergent people feel welcome in my space which I adore. (In fact they always have even in my before times now I come to think of it🤔).
It was disability by chronic illness that was the catalyst for transformation in my case. This led me almost immediately into a journey of learning how to rebalance my hormones (pretty much self-taught with the masterful work of Dr Claudia Welch). 6 years on, age 44 I am supremely thankful for this🙏✨
What I wish I’d known sooner? That menstrual migraine is due to imbalance in our hormones. Hormones are not the culprit. The imbalance is. 💙
I am here to serve people living with chronic migraine who are waking up to the truth that they matter, their health matters. This is my highest performing post on a struggle I’ve come to find so many of us share, the struggle of slowing down:
https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/on-slowing-down
Hi Amber, you are welcome and thanks for accepting 😊
I read and loved your slowing down post, thanks for sharing it here with us all!
I just Googled Ten Lakes and it looks stunning! I always wanted to visit the Lake District, but haven't made it up there yet! We want to go back to the UK again soon to visit family and friends. The boys haven't been back since we moved for NZ and they want to go to places like Old Trafford and the National Railway Museum in York. I don't know if that is close to the Lakes? I think it's an ADHD thing, but I have little concept/sense of space or time. Which is amazing because my spatial awareness for parallel parking and stacking a dishwasher is exquisite, ha ha! I think that's a case of autism contradicting, complimenting and masking the other. It's all weirdly complex and the reason so many of us are late diagnosed. It all goes to shit in midlife.
I haven't heard of Dr Claudia Welchj, do you have any info you could share please? Lara Bridem is big news here in NZ on the natural treatment for meno, but I am way beyond that. HRT/MHT is life-preserving medication for me and I wouldn't be here any more without it. But I am sure loads of other people in our community would find it invaluable to learn about alternatives.
Yes, I agree about the imbalances. In the case of autistic perimenopause, it's the enormous hormonal fluctuations that are so dangerous. In my case, it has looked a bit like bipolar disorder although I don't think I have that condition. But I could soar and then plummet - I guess it was undiagnosed PMDD all along.
Thanks for encouraging us all to slow down - it is such an important message to live within our capacity 💕
I mislead you a little with the ten lakes…there are ten lakes but the sure is called 7 Lakes Country Park and it’s in north Lincolnshire, not the lakes. I’m slap bang between Scunthorpe and Doncaster so you wouldn’t know such beauty lay here😆 and yet it does 🙏☺️
I used to live in York, that’s North Yorkshire and I was living East Yorkshire (when I moved back to Yorkshire from the north east 4 years ago) before moving half an hour here (only very just across the boarder) so not that far away.
One of the members of my healing through writing circle writes about autism and adhd contradicting, complimenting and masking the other, she’s really insightful in her writing, I’m hoping to persuade her to come join us here as a writer.
I’m hearing a lot about midlife and this through the likes of yourself. It’s deeply concerning.
The book I read of Dr Welch’s is Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life. It’s a big read and a lot to take on. There are so many hormone books, many easier to digest. I’d recommend us (whose interest is sparked) in reading up on hormones whatever stage or age we’re at. It’s the complexity of migraine disease and hormones that I especially loved though. I’ve written a few posts on hormones, balance etc. was interviewed on my hormone journey earlier this year (all on here).
We’re fortunate to have medication that helps support us - I hear a lot of great things about HRT. When it works like that, I’m in! Taking it mindlessly and it not to be working (taking it out of mass desperation anyway), and going against what my body says, is where I’m out.
I am so sorry to hear you’ve been living with PMDD undiagnosed all along. There are enormous gaps in knowledge, education and training that is leading to only exacerbate and further complicate our suffering. I hope that by so many of us sharing our stories and in building communities around that that we are here to change that🙏
My geography is awful, thanks for the explanation though! Sorry, I am so exhausted, burnt out and generally unwell today that I haven’t been able to reply. I am just jumping on here briefly now before (NZ) bedtime. 😞💤
Please share a link here to your interview when it gets published! 😀
Sorry to hear you feel so rubbish today. Please never feel you need to read or reply. There is no expectation from me, only understanding.
The interview was for research purposes though I’m trying to encourage her to write a book sharing a selection of stories like mine and others. It’d be especially good to see one such as yours in there.
You can follow the interview I turned into a series of blog posts here for now:
https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/menstrual-health-the-solution
Thanks for understanding, Amber. That sounds fantastic! I will read soon when my head can engage, hopefully that will be soon!
Lovely introduction and photos! I've grabbed a cup of mint tea to say hi! Late self diagnosed autistic and adhd here, more definitely once we went through autism diagnosis with daughter about a year ago. I'm 51, perimenopause started probably 45/46 I think. I think 48/49 was the hardest patch, now onto menopause and still lots of symptoms but mentally much better, I'm on antidepressants which definitely help as I can't take HRT or even topical oestrogen. Meditation has helped a lot. I have been in a big ME/Fibromyalgia flare up for the last year which has drastically reduced the size of my world, I am not getting out much but the positive is that I have done a lot of painting which I love. It has been a revelation joining Substack this year and finding so many people experiencing similar things. It has made me feel much less alone with chronic illness, neurodivergence and menopause!! I'd say my mood fluctuates a lot! Hour by hour!
I'm in Hampshire UK, live with husband, two daughters (one back off to uni to do masters soon, the other still at home) and two guinea pigs, and for a few weeks some field mice who got in, but they're humanely trapped and released. Two chatty frogs in the garden, one living in a bucket which magnifies his call! Off to do some painting now! Wishing you all a happy weekend xx
Hello, yay for your mint tea! I am in bed with a coffee in my favourite mugs and both cats sleeping on me. Joy!
You have been through so much, but I am glad things are now looking up. That must have been so hard dealing with the hormonal rollercoaster without HRT. I can't even begin to imagine 😭
Meditation and painting sound like the ultimate pairing to help you push through! I guess you can express so much and a whole range of moods whilst painting, amazing!
Hampshire is gorgeous, I have family who live there!
Whose are the guinea pigs? I love rodents, ha ha! My cats would love some field mice but no such luck. We live in the sand dunes so have more of a problem with ant infestations than anything else!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend! xx
The guinea pigs were a 17th birthday present for my daughter a couple of years ago when a neighbour accidentally got a male and female and babies quickly appeared, she had to go away for a few days and asked us to pop in and feed them, so that was it we were doomed when the babies needed homing! We'd previously had guinea pigs but not from tiny, these two are total characters, chat a lot and stand up on back legs and leap about a lot. Popcorning which is apparently a sign of a happy guinea pig. The standing on back legs like meerkats we haven't had previous guinea pigs do!!
I'm hoping with gradually settling hormones that my awful ME and Fibromyalgia flare up will settle. I'm finding it hard to not be able to do much at all. x
Popcorning is the cutest! I love guinea pigs. We considered getting some before deciding on indoor cats instead. We have to be strategic about doors and windows being opened now, so the cats are currently outside in the freestanding catio whilst we air out the house. I had hamsters when I was little 🥰 🐹
I hope your ME and fibro flat settles soon. I’m only able to do the bare minimum currently too. As my doctor said, the GnRH-a treatment has rendered me temporarily immobile. I’m a total mess. Can completely empathise with you 😭 💕
I had hamsters when I was little too! Thanks, I hope things improve for you soon too! Bloody hormone imbalances!!! Soooo hard! Worse than being a teenager and I don't say that lightly! X 🫂💕
Thanks, and yes it is so much worse! At least it is expected of a teenager, and I have regressed so much on skills I have had to learn the hard way through adulting. It's an absolute nightmare! ☹️💕
Yes!!! 💯Xx
*flare
Janey here, in my attic, with a decaf espresso, looking out above a few rooftops to the sea - Aberystwyth, far west of Wales.
Nearly 70 (how did THAT happen!?), recently self-diagnosed ADHD, with a light-bulb moment, in which all the shit-show of my life fell into place 🙄.
Menopause was a non-event for me - never had many hormones anyway 😂
But here I am anyway, roaming tentatively around the lake which is Substack, dipping my toes in and out, unready to commit as yet to writing. Though I have written all my life.
Ah, all my life! What a shit-show, to be sure!
Don't think you want to hear about it - certainly not in public!
But SO glad to be here with you all...sending flexi-yoga hugs from me and my hound xx
Kia ora Janey! Lovely to have you here, and so glad you found us all 💕
Ah the late diagnosis grief and regret is real. But also liberating when it all finally makes sense! Looking forward to reading your writing and reflections when you feel ready to share! Enjoy your view out to sea with your hound, just about bedtime now for my cats, kids and I! x
Hi everyone! Sorry I'm late to the party. I write The Autistic Mom here on Substack. I've been in peri-hell for some time now. Reluctantly back on antidepressants since last year, which helps somewhat. But my functioning has been all over the place. Some days are quite debilitating, emotionally and cognitively. Nice to know I'm not alone, but wish it was an easier time.
Hi Julie, please don’t apologise! Let’s just be glad the party wasn’t cancelled, given how low on capacity we all are currently! 😭
I’m glad the antidepressants are helping somewhat. Mine are amazingly invaluable, in my enormous range of midlife medications and HRT. It’s all so unfair that these lows coincide with parenting ND kids who take more energy than average, when we have so little to give 😭
Such a bright and lovely honest invitation!
I am Chloë, 46 years old. I live in Frome, Somerset. UK and dream of a life by the sea. I had my son at 38 and am a single parent. Definitely neuro-curious. Pretty certain my son is ADHD and thinking I possibly am too... I have a total block around completing his ND forms and wonder if there are also elements of PDA with us both. I often feel completely dysfunctional. I think I have been in perimenopause for the last 5 years or so but also traversing the terrain of chronic illness/autoimmune. I have endometriosis, possibly fibro and MCAS. Really don't want any of it. I was prescribed HRT months ago but so far not taken it - anxiety about it making my symptoms worse/PDA. I currently feel very unhappy about my life but have loved beginning to write publicly here on Substack, connecting with women in similar situations. Currently lying in bed whilst my son and his friend sit on screens. Happy the sun is shining, I miss having more energy and being able to trust my body to enjoy it ☀️☀️
I hate life admin. Maybe we should have a body doubling form filling session?! 😆
Yes please 😆
“I often feel completely dysfunctional” sums up my life pretty well too 😆
I got married at Orchardleigh in Frome, what a beautiful part of the world you live in!
PDA is an autistic profile, so that would make you PDAuDHD, like me ha ha! PDA autistic and ADHD. Fun times. I can never convince myself to get anything done. It’s endlessly frustrating so I totally empathise.
We have screens here to regulate and survive easily day too. But it’s definitely a way for ND kids to legitimately socialise so it’s all good.
My GnRH analogues treatment is also used for endo, I think? Although you would need to be on HRT to get it, I think. It’s knocked me for six, so no small undertaking.
I’m currently flat out in bed with a persistent sore throat and sore ear and generally run down. Can totally empathise with the fibro and MCAS stuff too. I have discussed chronic issues with doctors but am repeatedly dismissed.
How funny! Orchardleigh is beautiful 🏡 PDAuDHD I have not heard that one before. The screens thing is really tough for me. Knowing how much is regulation and when enough is enough. Thank God I am not the only one feeling dysfunctional 🤩
I've not heard of GnRH analogues will have a look into it. Has HRT helped you? So hard to get anyone to listen re the chronic stuff.
Hope you begin to feel more energised soon and rid of the weird fluey symptoms. Lovely to meet you on here xx
Lovely to meet you too, Chloë! I’ve written about my GnRH-analogues experience thus far if you want to look through my archives. No success yet but I need my own hormones to flatline and my estrogen receptors to be adequately saturated. Although I’m no doctor and not giving any medical advice 😹
I’m just trying to compile it all here though as there is very little information or research on autistic perimenopause 😿
I hope you’re feeling far more energised soon too! 💕
Very happy to have discovered this space! I am almost 48 years old, self-diagnosed autistic since age 45. I am sure ADHD is in the mix, and definitely PDA. I write here about the experience, together with musings on books, poetry, teaching, and nature: https://rebeccadmartin.substack.com/ ...I'm looking forward to learning from you.
So glad you are here, Rebecca! Thanks for the link, I just subscribed. A fellow autistic trained teacher. We are everywhere, yet the educational systems the world over are so inhospitable to neurodivergence. It doesn’t make sense! 😭
It really doesn’t make sense. We bring such particular giftings and strengths. The students—especially the ND ones—need us, and yet the traditional school environment is stacked against our success. I hate that.
Good morning from Scotland 🏴
I just done the meno-d test 🤦🏻♀️ 37!!! So thankfully I visited the dr on Wednesday and he suggested I try anti depressants again, I was reluctant(they didn’t help in the past) but agreed.
It’s a brand Iv never heard of before, im hoping they get me over this hurdle.
I’m 48 in November, I think my peri symptoms started around 40 but it was hard to pin down as I’d just undergone therapy for trauma, and had a baby at 38, so over the years I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines(since childhood)FND, IBS, then ADHD.
If you have any low fodmap recipes, please share…ibs has been in an awful flare, near impaction(tmi??) and it has floored me.
We have dogs no cats,my cat baby Bella was killed on the road and it broke my heart.
Today I plan to just rest mostly, I’m out with my daughter tomorrow so I need to reserve energy.
I did take a pic of my fave mug but not sure I can share in a comment 🤔
Hi Nicola, good evening from Kāpiti 🇳🇿
Gosh, 37! Glad you’re getting on the anti-depressants. I hope they kick in quickly for you. I remember when I started on mine I was totally numbed out to all emotions. It was pretty scary as my husband and kids were decorating the Christmas tree trying to get me involved and I could not move. The GP said that was a symptom of my dose being too high. It was neurotypical dose. Now I’m on half a pill of Sertraline daily but I think the usual adult dose is closer to two pills.
I don’t have any low FODMAP recipes, sorry, but I can totally empathise. I’ve been denied an IBS diagnosis many times now, yet remain symptomatic 🤷🏻♀️ I hope it settles for you soon.
I’m so sorry to here about your kitty 😿
I’m super paranoid about that so for many reasons, including traffic, ours are inside cats. They are ragdolls so can get stolen easily 😭
Annoying that we can’t share photos in the comments. What’s that about? It’s an odd feature. It would be great to share photos. Wah 😭
I didn’t really correlate my symptoms to being depressed, mostly due to most of them being memory, cognition etc…so I was taking myself down the neurological road(especially as I have these fnd episodes), that being said, I’m hopeful they do help.
Yes it would be good to share pics!
What time is it in New Zealand?
When I met my husband, his dream was to have a little bookshop in New Zealand 😔 but life brought him here with me instead…poor sod!
I first read your message at 3am here when my cat was threatening to vomit on my bed. I took him to the bathroom where he withheld said vomit because his dare I encourage him to produce it on a tiles floor rather than on my bedding or carpet. It is now coming up to 9am Sunday morning, so I’m coming to you from the future ha ha! I have yet to find where he eventually puked 🤮 😭
If it makes you feel any better, I live by the beach, which is stunning, and my house is in a tsunami zone. I hate it, but the SSRI helps 😹 😿
Sorry. What a messy ramble. I’m sick in bed, and my filter appears to be broken.
Hormonal/reproductive/menopausal depression isn’t like classic depression symptoms, which is what makes it so interesting but dangerous 😿
Also, because it’s hormonal in origin, the treatment is also hormone therapy. We get prescribed SSRIs but usually don’t help with the symptoms because what we really need is oestrogen. I’m now on patches, pills and gel - helping I can be sufficiently estrogenised soon.
So if the anti-depressants don’t make a difference soon, go back to the GP for HRT.
Oh I already take hrt…a godsend for the rage and the hopeless feeling of needing to run away 🙏🏼Now it’s more a lack of functioning, so we will see how it goes. It’s SNRI — Venlafaxine.
You’ve told me about the SNRIs before, haven’t you? That they help with managing ADHD symptoms too? Sorry! I barely remember my own name at the moment so can’t hold onto any other information 😿
The lack of functioning. Yes!! Soul destroying. I’m there too 😭
No I didn’t know that they helped manage adhd, just learned that on Wednesday after they were prescribed.
I’d even go as far as to say I’d take pain over this inability to function, at least I can manage that to a degree.