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Oh that so would have been either me or at least one of my kids. I would have done it once, and then been caught out, and always wanted to do it, but never brave enough again (non neuro affirming parents) and basically cried with extreme anxiety rather than go up to the table and then missed out completely or ended up with the only prize left.

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Yes, I think I would have had the anxiety attack as a child and certainly have been mute. Then as a teen I was loud, impulsive and “annoying”. I love looking back over my decades thus far and seeing how I pivoted between being really autistic (0-11), really ADHD (puberty and teens), really academic and autistic through my twenties, a mess in my thirties, culminating in diagnoses late 30s and now I’m just beginning to regain some control of my brain at 42 with all the anxiety meds, ADHD stimulants and HRT. Until then, I was completely at the whim of my hormones and probably PMDD. Where do we even go from here? Urgh. It’s all too much, isn’t it? Erm. I think that signals my bedtime 😹

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42 is a good age, sleep well.

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Thanks, have a lovely day! My Mum tells me there is a sudden heatwave in the UK! Stay cool 😎

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It’s not that hot really. About 20/21 degrees but it is meant to hold all weekend then back to 16/17.

Oh and by 42 is a good age, I meant as in it’s the meaning of life not it’s old. 😂

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Ha ha, no worries! And that’s a heatwave for my Mum, my parents hate heat 🔥 😹

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Last night, here on the wild west coast of Wales, I lit and sat beside my first outside fire of the summer - and would send you a pic, complete with dog, if I could work out how!

All I could here was the sea (my thumping heart was quiet for once) and I did NOTHING for an hour 😊.

Glad your Mum's surgery was ok...we bless the NHS, when it is able to function x

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Oh that sounds blissful, fire is so soothing. When it is under our control! :) x

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*hear*

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Mm, I love the sheer randomness of fire...I am an (amateur ) ceramicist, and love putting dishes in the fire, with 'magic' powders, and seeing what emerges in the cold light of day 😊

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That sounds epic! I’d love to see photos 😻

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Can't work out how...I'll give it thought. Are you ok with randomness?

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Randomness is my innate operating system!

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That's interesting...I love randomness and asymmetry, but quite often people don't see the difference between randomness and chaos I find

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In another world, I would have recognised my 'otherness', many years ago, and that of my dear boy, homeschooled him...

and be in quite a different place, perhaps. Ho hum...it is as it is x

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Oh it’s all so hard and we never know in the moment if we are doing the right thing. It’s helpful to have a neuro-appropriate self-forgiving lens when looking back at our choices. We all do the best we can at the time :)

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Thank you, yes...I shall give up self-hating 🙃

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Absolutely no self-hating! We get enough unnecessary judgments so let’s not do it to ourselves. And when we catch up, kick it, kill it! Swing an axe at it and burn it! 🥰 🔥 🪵 🪓 🤭

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