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I don't have any advice to offer, but just wanted to offer some loving support and witnessing. I just found your writing very recently, and I am sad on your behalf that you are going through all this, but also grateful that you are sharing your experience so eloquently. I was diagnosed Autistic only after I had already traversed the menopause rubicon, but in retrospect, it seems to me that going through all that hormonal upheaval was what made it impossible for me to mask to the level I had for all my life up to that point. What I went through was nowhere near as bad as what you are going through, but it was hell, so I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you to go through all of it. It's ridiculous that on top of what you are enduring, you have to do so much research yourself, as the medical world has been so dismissive of both Autistics and peri/menopause. I wish you the best, and send you love as you go through this. P.S., I don't know if it's true for everyone, but from my own experience, once you've crossed the rubicon, things don't go back to "normal," but they definitely become more predictable and manageable. May that be true for you, as well.

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Thanks so much! Yes, it’s been a total shitshow and somehow I keep moving through it, like so many of us do because what choice do we have? I’m glad you survived and are through the other side! I’m looking forward to it! I still have people telling me I’m too young to be perimenopausal at 43. If I don’t take some of the control, who knows how long I’ll just have to keep going through potentially getting lower. So I appreciate your positive perspective :)

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It all sounds grim and you have my sympathies. Don't forget to factor-in your recent loss, as grief - I have found - shows up in strange forms and strange places and times ❤️

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You’re right, Janey, I thought the same thing after pressing “Publish”, whilst sitting wearing my Dad’s jumper over my pyjamas 😿

A fair element of it could also be SAD as it’s winter here still 🥶

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I think with 'age' comes perspective, though I would never claim wisdom - I have only recently self-diagnosed adhd...70 next birthday 🙃

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I definitely hit all this a couple of years ago, I was offered a hysterectomy but didn't think my ME would cope, so I've been on antidepressants, used yoga nidra, meditation and probably too much chocolate. I've had to accept this rubbish flare up of ME and Fibromyalgia, but although the energy hasn't returned yet the awful awful hormone swings, suicidal ideation, period pain, adenomyosis pain and a lot of the hideous perimenopausal symptoms have settled. I feel calmer, still hot flushing but I can cope with that. So hang on in there, this too shall pass, you will be ok. The older women at my art group give me hope, they are all thriving (and have ten times my energy) in their 70s and 80s! I'm looking forward to being magnificent! Sending hugs xxx

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Thanks, that’s really reassuring. I am in a bad way today. Horrendous menstrual cramping and back pain right now. Total lethargy. Just had to cancel all my appointments for the day. How far along in your auti peri are you? When/how will this end?! 😭

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Yes the cramps and back pain seems to have passed 🤞the inertia I'm still struggling with, but I'm not as frustrated with it (still frustrating but I'm not raging) things feel liveable in a way they didn't. Be gentle with yourself, lots of yoga nidra, belly breathing and chocolate and letting go of housework seems to help too! Xxx

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I'm sorry things have been so hard recently. I hope this helps and brings you some relief.

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Thanks! I hope so, my hormones are continuing to spiral and descend today and it’s only 9am! This time tomorrow I’ll be on my way to the GP nurse to have the implant injected 🤞

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Also, I realised today I’ll have something like 170 functional days a year back that would usually be lost to PMDD. That's wild, what will I do with all this extra time?!

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That’s sensational! I don’t know. Sleep, maybe? 🤔 🤭 or am I projecting?!

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Happy to report that mine went well and after the initial sad patch after my hormones dropped off I felt much better and more stable with a patch and my usual utrogestan. Cautiously optimistic but hopeful. I did notice what felt like higher than average hormone levels for a week afterwords but that could have just been timing in my cycle and it seems to have all settled now.

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Oh that’s brilliant news, Claire! Have you seen the Zero to Finals video? I think it ramps up hormonal production initially then it all lovely out but I can’t quite remember and I should be asleep..!

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*levels out,

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