You summed up my Canadian experiences perfectly. The psychiatrist that we saw for my daughter wouldn’t continue meeting with us after she was diagnosed autistic. Even though…she’d been autistic before the diagnosis! The child and mental health team did neurotypical counselling, and sent me to a parent course for child anxiety. When I called once for emergency help during a meltdown, the dispatcher convinced me that I didn’t really need police or ambulance because “it’s not that bad, right? She doesn’t have a weapon? Do you really need someone?”
The things that have helped are appropriate medication, leaving traditional school, and ND-affirmative counselling and parent consultant. I have a dream that I can eventually be one of those ND-affirmative “helpers”!
Oh Brianna, that’s absolutely awful to treat you both that way! It’s so unjust and I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s incredible how we have to upskill ourselves and dedicate our lives to researching this all, only to have it all thrown back in our faces because the professionals are less knowledgeable than we are! Look into “disability doulas”! I love the concept and think we should all have one when we are newly diagnosed ND!
I have seen the incredibly frustrating not-my-department runaround so many times. It's heartbreaking (and incredibly wasteful and inefficient). And when I did manage to access intensive mental health treatment, the programs themselves were in such overstimulating environments that while I did get some benefit, I was also having meltdowns on the daily.
On a more positive side, learning about some of the missing/missed pieces in my neuromix has given me more compassion and understanding for my lack of tolerance to certain things. And combined with COVID accelerating access to telehealth, getting outpatient mental health treatment with ND-affirming providers while in a physically tolerable environment has increased, for which I am grateful. (I've made more progress able to stim and rock at home during sessions.)
Yes, you’re so right! We are far able to relax into consultations when outside a clinical environment. It removes much of the dysregulation, not to mention the executive functioning required to attend an appointment, find parking, remember where I’ve parked, find childcare/charge and take iPads to distract the kids etc.
This is such an invaluable insight. I’m just starting my book on autistic perimenopause. One of the factors we know about putting autistics at risk in midlife is being that doctors don’t know how to communicate with us. With the self-advocacy skills and Telehealth being default for NDs, this could really turn things around for many of us!
Not to mention the fact that most telehealth platforms have some accessibility tools included - such as captioning, chat (bc finger words are faster/easier than mouth words at times), and even the simple option for volume control. Those "little" things make a big difference for me!
You summed up my Canadian experiences perfectly. The psychiatrist that we saw for my daughter wouldn’t continue meeting with us after she was diagnosed autistic. Even though…she’d been autistic before the diagnosis! The child and mental health team did neurotypical counselling, and sent me to a parent course for child anxiety. When I called once for emergency help during a meltdown, the dispatcher convinced me that I didn’t really need police or ambulance because “it’s not that bad, right? She doesn’t have a weapon? Do you really need someone?”
The things that have helped are appropriate medication, leaving traditional school, and ND-affirmative counselling and parent consultant. I have a dream that I can eventually be one of those ND-affirmative “helpers”!
Oh Brianna, that’s absolutely awful to treat you both that way! It’s so unjust and I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s incredible how we have to upskill ourselves and dedicate our lives to researching this all, only to have it all thrown back in our faces because the professionals are less knowledgeable than we are! Look into “disability doulas”! I love the concept and think we should all have one when we are newly diagnosed ND!
Yes! Disability doula sounds amazing. I want to be one!
You’d be awesome!! Let me know if you find a course!
I have seen the incredibly frustrating not-my-department runaround so many times. It's heartbreaking (and incredibly wasteful and inefficient). And when I did manage to access intensive mental health treatment, the programs themselves were in such overstimulating environments that while I did get some benefit, I was also having meltdowns on the daily.
On a more positive side, learning about some of the missing/missed pieces in my neuromix has given me more compassion and understanding for my lack of tolerance to certain things. And combined with COVID accelerating access to telehealth, getting outpatient mental health treatment with ND-affirming providers while in a physically tolerable environment has increased, for which I am grateful. (I've made more progress able to stim and rock at home during sessions.)
Yes, you’re so right! We are far able to relax into consultations when outside a clinical environment. It removes much of the dysregulation, not to mention the executive functioning required to attend an appointment, find parking, remember where I’ve parked, find childcare/charge and take iPads to distract the kids etc.
This is such an invaluable insight. I’m just starting my book on autistic perimenopause. One of the factors we know about putting autistics at risk in midlife is being that doctors don’t know how to communicate with us. With the self-advocacy skills and Telehealth being default for NDs, this could really turn things around for many of us!
Not to mention the fact that most telehealth platforms have some accessibility tools included - such as captioning, chat (bc finger words are faster/easier than mouth words at times), and even the simple option for volume control. Those "little" things make a big difference for me!
Yes, being able to communicate autistically is crucial. And autism is so dynamic that our needs are constantly changing. The flexibility is essential.
It’s a common eye-roll in our house. Each time someone mentions CBT… “have you just thought differently”
It causes us all to laugh in anguish.
I don’t need to be told how to see it — I need help to find the tools to ACTUALLY see it.
Definitely didn’t feel bleak — just incredibly truthful; and maybe a little sad.
We are left to fend for ourselves, and find our own way… which we are then told it’s the “wrong way” cause we are… “dysfunctional”. 🤷♀️
Hi Amelia!
It’s important to laugh about it all, it is a cruel joke how humanity is playing out and prioritising capitalism over mental health.
Although we are then pathologised when our laughter becomes manic/hysterical.
We can’t win! 😆 🫣
Perhaps, hilariously, because I’m feeling a smidge better right now…this didn’t feel bleak…just true.
Thank you for writing. Thank you for caring. Thank you for being you. I appreciate you beyond measure.
Aww thanks Wake! 🥰