It’s lovely when Substack exposes us to great writing - a real treat - but I don’t believe that is its only function. I hope it’s also there for the times we just need to be open and real about what we’re going through. Never forget it helps others feel less alone. I feel similarly useless and hopeless - I seem to be having a week where I can’t get through a couple of hours without spilling something down my jumper. As for comedy, I think we often take women comedians to our hearts because they reveal the vulnerabiity behind the mask that we are frantically fixing on a lot of the time. Right now news has just broken of Janey Godley’s terminal cancer and the love outpouring to her has been quite extraordinary.
Oh that’s so sad, Miranda. I just looked up her latest press release and she says in the Guardian: “Cancer affects two in one people, and it’s affected me.” I don’t know if that’s a joke or a misprint?!
Thanks for your support 💕
Reading about Jane Godley today, and thinking back to my Dad’s recent end of life care, it definitely puts it all into perspective. I just wanted to get a post out so I wrote what I could manage with the limited capacity I had. None of us can really expect more than that of each other. It would be internalised ableist and ongoing high masking of me to tidy it all up and exhaust my resources just to make it look and feel like something it’s not supposed to be.
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time at the moment too. I think if you’re managing to eat/drink every couple of hours then that’s great self-care (although I hate that term), even if it sadly is sacrificial to your jumpers 😢 🤭
I have just discovered your Substack via a link in a social media post. (A friend put me onto Substacks a couple of years ago - of course I downloaded the app and promptly forgot about it/ avoided it as risk of deep dive and getting even less done, thank you ADHD). I am working my way through your posts and writing. Thank you. It’s affirming and also weirdly emotional to read about. I’m 56 now and this is one hell of a trip…
Reading your story feels like discovering a voice that finally captures the messy, relentless, hilarious, and heartbreaking reality of going through it all – perimenopause, autistic burnout, parenthood, and more. It’s vulnerable and refreshing, and the truth you’re laying out is both painful and weirdly funny. Your honesty's a reminder that none of us are truly alone in our own “chronic shit” (yep, it’s real) and that it’s okay to laugh, cry, and share the ridiculousness of it all, especially with those who totally get it.
Thanks, lovely. I appreciate all your kind words but can’t believe your oversight in not acknowledging my cats?! That’s not like you. Everything okay? 😜 🥰 🐈 🐈
*Sam expertly swerves compliments without making it too awkward*
*Sam blows on her knuckles and rubs them on her lapel* (what even is a lapel? 🤷🏻♀️)
Ah Sam…I am living under a rock at the moment! I managed out for a couple hours with my daughter on Sunday for a lunch we booked a few weeks back, honestly I felt too poorly and really didn’t want to let her down.
I’m having more frequent falls again, can barely eat or 💩(tmi?), working memory non existent.
I’m a week into the new meds, next week I increase the dose, hopefully I start to feel less of a shell soon.
Oh I’m so sorry and I completely relate! I’d love to really uashamedly live under a rock, where nobody could get to me 😹
Sounds like a really hard time, I hope your meds kick in quickly!
I’ve got the opposite problem with the 💩
The urgency is ridiculous, it’s so debilitating. All my drafts in my head are song titles at the moment. I must be getting out driving a bit more to remember the song lyrics 🤔
Neil was pretty scary about us writing on ourselves. I had to haul my notes out of my pocket too. It's bloody uncomfortable. I really admired the way it looked like you had incorporated yours into your set. I felt better about doing it once I'd seen you and some others do it (if that's any help).
Thanks, I was just recalling how awesome you were that night! And I’m glad I can remember things I previously wouldn’t have had recall of 😮💨
I don’t remember you looking at your notes. Yes, I had to play on the ADHD because “I need to check my notes because I’m autistic” wouldn’t have worked. Ha ha! 😝
It’s lovely when Substack exposes us to great writing - a real treat - but I don’t believe that is its only function. I hope it’s also there for the times we just need to be open and real about what we’re going through. Never forget it helps others feel less alone. I feel similarly useless and hopeless - I seem to be having a week where I can’t get through a couple of hours without spilling something down my jumper. As for comedy, I think we often take women comedians to our hearts because they reveal the vulnerabiity behind the mask that we are frantically fixing on a lot of the time. Right now news has just broken of Janey Godley’s terminal cancer and the love outpouring to her has been quite extraordinary.
Oh that’s so sad, Miranda. I just looked up her latest press release and she says in the Guardian: “Cancer affects two in one people, and it’s affected me.” I don’t know if that’s a joke or a misprint?!
Thanks for your support 💕
Reading about Jane Godley today, and thinking back to my Dad’s recent end of life care, it definitely puts it all into perspective. I just wanted to get a post out so I wrote what I could manage with the limited capacity I had. None of us can really expect more than that of each other. It would be internalised ableist and ongoing high masking of me to tidy it all up and exhaust my resources just to make it look and feel like something it’s not supposed to be.
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time at the moment too. I think if you’re managing to eat/drink every couple of hours then that’s great self-care (although I hate that term), even if it sadly is sacrificial to your jumpers 😢 🤭
So relatable and I love your cats 😻
I have just discovered your Substack via a link in a social media post. (A friend put me onto Substacks a couple of years ago - of course I downloaded the app and promptly forgot about it/ avoided it as risk of deep dive and getting even less done, thank you ADHD). I am working my way through your posts and writing. Thank you. It’s affirming and also weirdly emotional to read about. I’m 56 now and this is one hell of a trip…
Hi Rikki! Glad you came back to Substack! I’m glad it’s all relatable for you 😻
Reading your story feels like discovering a voice that finally captures the messy, relentless, hilarious, and heartbreaking reality of going through it all – perimenopause, autistic burnout, parenthood, and more. It’s vulnerable and refreshing, and the truth you’re laying out is both painful and weirdly funny. Your honesty's a reminder that none of us are truly alone in our own “chronic shit” (yep, it’s real) and that it’s okay to laugh, cry, and share the ridiculousness of it all, especially with those who totally get it.
Thanks, lovely. I appreciate all your kind words but can’t believe your oversight in not acknowledging my cats?! That’s not like you. Everything okay? 😜 🥰 🐈 🐈
*Sam expertly swerves compliments without making it too awkward*
*Sam blows on her knuckles and rubs them on her lapel* (what even is a lapel? 🤷🏻♀️)
HAHAHA! Omg of course, the blasphemy! I’d taken an edible before I wrote the comment so I blame that lolol. Your cats are so pretty 😻
Ha ha, thank you! 😹 😹
Ah Sam…I am living under a rock at the moment! I managed out for a couple hours with my daughter on Sunday for a lunch we booked a few weeks back, honestly I felt too poorly and really didn’t want to let her down.
I’m having more frequent falls again, can barely eat or 💩(tmi?), working memory non existent.
I’m a week into the new meds, next week I increase the dose, hopefully I start to feel less of a shell soon.
Love the title of this post. Love evanescence!
Oh I’m so sorry and I completely relate! I’d love to really uashamedly live under a rock, where nobody could get to me 😹
Sounds like a really hard time, I hope your meds kick in quickly!
I’ve got the opposite problem with the 💩
The urgency is ridiculous, it’s so debilitating. All my drafts in my head are song titles at the moment. I must be getting out driving a bit more to remember the song lyrics 🤔
Take care and rest up 💕
I loved that comedy set you did.
Thanks, Erin! I was mortified 😹 😭
Neil was pretty scary about us writing on ourselves. I had to haul my notes out of my pocket too. It's bloody uncomfortable. I really admired the way it looked like you had incorporated yours into your set. I felt better about doing it once I'd seen you and some others do it (if that's any help).
Thanks, I was just recalling how awesome you were that night! And I’m glad I can remember things I previously wouldn’t have had recall of 😮💨
I don’t remember you looking at your notes. Yes, I had to play on the ADHD because “I need to check my notes because I’m autistic” wouldn’t have worked. Ha ha! 😝
Hahaha. Classic. :)