Lord, I wish I had significant insights, but it's more like the reassurance that I'm not crazy, that things becoming more difficult just when I think I should be able to handle more is not my fault, that I am not alone in this. That goes a long way toward being able to take a deep breath and gently accept myself--tepid coffee (tea, in my case), included!
I read a book awhile go, Pooja Lakshmin's "Real Self Care". It emphasised the idea of boundaries as the first step in self care, and I see a lot of the same ideas reflected here. Thanks for a thought provoking read
Thanks for the recommendation, Rachael. That's a really good point, boundaries are a critical barrier against taking on too much and losing ourselves in the process of fulfilling everyone else's needs and wishes. It can be so hard to say no.
I always think self-care for me is taking my medication as prescribed, making sure I don't run out of HRT patches, pills and gels; getting to the dentist and hygienist regularly. I have learnt the hard way - I had a gum graft a few years ago and really have to prioritise dental care now.
Sometimes it is only through having a really bad experience that we learn the self-protective mechanisms that seem to be more conditioned into men. At least in my own case, it is a hard learnt lesson. Raising boys is a minefield as a stay at home parent because I l know I do too much for them because it's easier than having to supervise and correct them, but it is short sighted of me.
I hope you get to flex your selfishness muscles and get a hot coffee and some peaceful time to yourself! I think chronic illness and menopause have combined to encourage me to finally be a bit selfish! X
How insightful! I like your thoughts, even the title "selfishness is a muscle midlife women need to flex" is (to me) a different way of seeing this. I usually associate the word selfish as something negative, but your perspective makes me rethink that. Appreciate you!
This might have been the very topic of my conversation with my therapist this morning...
Oh really, any insights welcome please! I have only questions and no answers or solutions 😜
But it’s 8:40am here and I’m determinedly sitting on the sofa drinking my tepid coffee…
Lord, I wish I had significant insights, but it's more like the reassurance that I'm not crazy, that things becoming more difficult just when I think I should be able to handle more is not my fault, that I am not alone in this. That goes a long way toward being able to take a deep breath and gently accept myself--tepid coffee (tea, in my case), included!
I read a book awhile go, Pooja Lakshmin's "Real Self Care". It emphasised the idea of boundaries as the first step in self care, and I see a lot of the same ideas reflected here. Thanks for a thought provoking read
Thanks for the recommendation, Rachael. That's a really good point, boundaries are a critical barrier against taking on too much and losing ourselves in the process of fulfilling everyone else's needs and wishes. It can be so hard to say no.
I always think self-care for me is taking my medication as prescribed, making sure I don't run out of HRT patches, pills and gels; getting to the dentist and hygienist regularly. I have learnt the hard way - I had a gum graft a few years ago and really have to prioritise dental care now.
Sometimes it is only through having a really bad experience that we learn the self-protective mechanisms that seem to be more conditioned into men. At least in my own case, it is a hard learnt lesson. Raising boys is a minefield as a stay at home parent because I l know I do too much for them because it's easier than having to supervise and correct them, but it is short sighted of me.
Adulting is a minefield! I
It sure is!
I hope you get to flex your selfishness muscles and get a hot coffee and some peaceful time to yourself! I think chronic illness and menopause have combined to encourage me to finally be a bit selfish! X
It takes a lot to prioritise ourselves, but we get there in the end! 🙈 x
How insightful! I like your thoughts, even the title "selfishness is a muscle midlife women need to flex" is (to me) a different way of seeing this. I usually associate the word selfish as something negative, but your perspective makes me rethink that. Appreciate you!
Thanks, Ang! I appreciate you, your feedback and support as ever 😃