Then at other times they just flow through us. Everything fluctuates so much and that’s okay. I see you and I really appreciate you reading this. I’m glad it resonated!
Putting my hand up here to say 'me too. I'm struggling.' Peri-menopausal AuDHDer here (put into peri-menopause aged 35 after the death of my young son - didn't realise for 12 years...). I'm not ok. But also, I will be ok.
Thank you. I will read this a bit later (washing machine just broke down but I fixed it! 💪 Need to recuperate now though!).
I’m thankful that I am now getting medical support (I’m on ALL the HRT as of about 8 months ago!). Plus I have a great psychiatrist who diagnosed my ADHD and who informally agrees with my autism self-diagnosis (we agreed that formal diagnosis isn’t necessary for now - he is a private psychiatrist and keen to keep my costs as low as possible).
I’m no stranger to serious mental health issues, but yes, I’m keen to stay, even though things feel very hard at times.
Oh Emma, I’m so very sorry that you’re grieving your son. How utterly devastating. I have a history of pregnancy losses which were awful but I can’t imagine how infinitely more tragic the baby loss would have been had I already met them and nurtured them. No wonder you’re not okay. You don’t have to be okay yet and it wouldn’t be expected of you to ever be the same okay as you were before your son died, and you then were thrown into peri. I really feel for you 😭
My Grandad died aged 47 and my Nan went straight into menopause from the shock, no more periods, so I’m told.
Our bodies are so sensitive and vulnerable so please take good care of yourself. Your son was so lucky that your body gave him life and I’m so sorry for the shared future you’ve been deprived of. Please reach out anytime xx
Thank you, Sam, for sharing your story and your Nan’s story with me. I think that helps a lot - to know that we are not alone in all of this.
When my son was in a hospital far from home (with me) having last ditch treatment, I read so many books about people living and working in places of suffering. I needed the perspective of how hard life has always been, and continues to be, for many people.
I had never cried more in my life than my first year with my first son. I have since also questioned whether I may have adhd or be on the spectrum to some degree. I only looked into it because we had suspected it in my 3yo son. Thanks for spreading awareness ❤️
Hi Tania, I’m sorry and I totally empathise with you about crying with your boy when he was a baby. I had constant intrusive thoughts which were incredibly scary and shameful at the time. We already had so much to deal with just in their constant care needs. It’s a relief to finally have an explanation for it all and to not have to mask so hard anymore. Reach out if I can help at all :)
Wow this is the best thing I've read all week. I'm having a hard time accessing words at the moment, but I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of this autistic heart for writing this.
So powerful - I need to come back to this to fully absorb it but am thrilled is writing exists, and feel like we don't have enough communities focused on the vulnerability of peri/meno AuDHDs or autistic women. It's a public health crisis that needs more support
Yes, you’re so right! It’s pretty scary but we need to keep making ourselves known, and gently outing other autistics (ha ha!) as there is strength in numbers 💪 💕
Thanks, Emily. Definitely needs to be said. Luckily I’m gifted shamelessness by my neurodivergency and can’t help speaking up. Thanks for taking the time to comment, share and subscribe too 🥰
Words are too hard sometimes 😭
Then at other times they just flow through us. Everything fluctuates so much and that’s okay. I see you and I really appreciate you reading this. I’m glad it resonated!
Absolutely all of this. Thank you
Putting my hand up here to say 'me too. I'm struggling.' Peri-menopausal AuDHDer here (put into peri-menopause aged 35 after the death of my young son - didn't realise for 12 years...). I'm not ok. But also, I will be ok.
I’m wondering if this is any help? Do you have a supportive doctor?
Please don’t hesitate to get medical management around your perimenopause.
There’s no way of telling exactly how low we can get, nor how rapidly, and the world needs you in it:
https://open.substack.com/pub/samgallowayaudhd/p/dear-friend-how-low-can-you-go?r=2pp93s&utm_medium=ios
Thank you. I will read this a bit later (washing machine just broke down but I fixed it! 💪 Need to recuperate now though!).
I’m thankful that I am now getting medical support (I’m on ALL the HRT as of about 8 months ago!). Plus I have a great psychiatrist who diagnosed my ADHD and who informally agrees with my autism self-diagnosis (we agreed that formal diagnosis isn’t necessary for now - he is a private psychiatrist and keen to keep my costs as low as possible).
I’m no stranger to serious mental health issues, but yes, I’m keen to stay, even though things feel very hard at times.
Oh Emma, I’m so very sorry that you’re grieving your son. How utterly devastating. I have a history of pregnancy losses which were awful but I can’t imagine how infinitely more tragic the baby loss would have been had I already met them and nurtured them. No wonder you’re not okay. You don’t have to be okay yet and it wouldn’t be expected of you to ever be the same okay as you were before your son died, and you then were thrown into peri. I really feel for you 😭
My Grandad died aged 47 and my Nan went straight into menopause from the shock, no more periods, so I’m told.
Our bodies are so sensitive and vulnerable so please take good care of yourself. Your son was so lucky that your body gave him life and I’m so sorry for the shared future you’ve been deprived of. Please reach out anytime xx
Thank you, Sam, for sharing your story and your Nan’s story with me. I think that helps a lot - to know that we are not alone in all of this.
When my son was in a hospital far from home (with me) having last ditch treatment, I read so many books about people living and working in places of suffering. I needed the perspective of how hard life has always been, and continues to be, for many people.
I had never cried more in my life than my first year with my first son. I have since also questioned whether I may have adhd or be on the spectrum to some degree. I only looked into it because we had suspected it in my 3yo son. Thanks for spreading awareness ❤️
Hi Tania, I’m sorry and I totally empathise with you about crying with your boy when he was a baby. I had constant intrusive thoughts which were incredibly scary and shameful at the time. We already had so much to deal with just in their constant care needs. It’s a relief to finally have an explanation for it all and to not have to mask so hard anymore. Reach out if I can help at all :)
Wow this is the best thing I've read all week. I'm having a hard time accessing words at the moment, but I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of this autistic heart for writing this.
So powerful - I need to come back to this to fully absorb it but am thrilled is writing exists, and feel like we don't have enough communities focused on the vulnerability of peri/meno AuDHDs or autistic women. It's a public health crisis that needs more support
Yes, you’re so right! It’s pretty scary but we need to keep making ourselves known, and gently outing other autistics (ha ha!) as there is strength in numbers 💪 💕
Ngā mihi for writing this. It’s so important to share and I recognise the vulnerability and bravery in doing so.
Thanks, Emily. Definitely needs to be said. Luckily I’m gifted shamelessness by my neurodivergency and can’t help speaking up. Thanks for taking the time to comment, share and subscribe too 🥰
Oh thank you so much for sharing this. I have been feeling around the edges of this concept lately and I think you've encapsulated it perfectly
Thanks, Rachael. I’m sorry you are going through this too but it’s good to know we aren’t alone.