Aw Sam, I don’t have the capacity to reply as fully as I’d like 🤣 but yeah I have lost both sides lower back(3 on each side) in the past 3-5 years—coincidentally timed with perimenopause and late neurodivergence diagnosis…
OMG. I am 53 and was officially diagnosed as autistic a month ago. A few yar ago my dentist was very concerned about the bone loss in my jaw. My doctor did a bone density scan and felt it was within normal ranges. I definitely grind my teeth. I do recall a mouth guard being suggested, but I wish more emphasis had been given. My 6 lower middle teeth are loose, have bone loss, and recessed gums. I had braces and also have a tongue thrust. I thought that was corrected when I had braces as a teen but apparently that is not the case. Since, I have acknowledged I am Autistic I have noticed my childhood habit of sticking out my tongue has returned. I have my teeth cleaned every 3 months and I have the periodontist clean my teeth annually. The periodontist placed a wire behind my bottom teeth to help stabilize. They still move. Last year he said I have no active gum disease. I am uncertain about what the long-term fate of these teeth will be. I use all the cleaning techniques you mentioned in the evening. I may need to step up my brushing game in the morning. I also agree that prevention is much better than a crisis and hopefully costs less too.
Hi, I’m sorry you are going through this too. I wonder if the mouth guard will help at this stage? It could provide some additional support overnight so if you’re grinding those teeth are protected. I need to get new overnight retainers made to keep my teeth aligned but it’s all so expensive and requires more executive functioning than I have right now.
Congratulations on your recent diagnosis! I wrote this a while ago on the topic:
The mouthguard helps. In hindsight I probably needed to get it much sooner. I really don't think my dentist did a great job of explaining why I needed it. Part of this may be that understanding what I hear can be challenging.
Yes, it’s so hard to take in information when we are in stressful clinical environments. Just wanting to leave can stop my recall of what they actually said. Plus they anticipate that we have the EF to just follow up on recommendations.
My dental surgery has it on file that I’m ND, and the hygienist is great. She explains everything, walks me out to reception and lets the receptionist know when next to book me in, so I can’t forget on my way from chair to desk!
I take detailed notes at all medical appointments because I don’t trust my brain with important information anymore. I used to have an exceptional memory, but it’s failing me in autistic perimenopause.
I’m hoping it will improve over time post-menopause 🤞
I’m so glad you’ve got the mouth guard now. Better late than never!
My biggest problem is with ophthalmologists. I see one every 6 months due to cornea issues. I asked one of them to write down my diagnosis and he gave me a pathetic look, but did write it down for me. This idiot was highly recommended, but I will never go back. I don't have any intention of stroking your ego!!
He sounds awful! Is there someone else you can see instead? I try not to go back to professionals if they make me feel comfortable. Bearing in mind I rarely feel comfortable!
It seems as if you may be gathering your own body of evidence for a study with this post and it's comments...I too was a thumb sucker, had a speech impediment as a child and an now smack dab in the midst of perimenopause and two years ago my teeth literally just started crumbling and falling out. My gums are rapidly receding and my teeth have started to shift like crazy. I also have hypermobile EDS and these issues are also common with that connective tissue disorder. EDS is also highly common in the neurodivergent population so maybe there's also a link there... who knows, maybe one day they'll actually think to study the aging autistic female population and we'll know more (but I doubt seriously I'll see that in my lifetime unfortunately).
If only I had the capacity for any kind of formal research. I’d love to do a PhD but I think it would be the death of me 😭
Yay for thumb-sucking but I’m so sorry to hear you’re losing your teeth. Do you have dentures to replace them? I think in earlier comments Nicola mentioned getting a bridge but I don’t really know anything about that.
Ah yes, hypermobility and connective tissue disorders. I don’t think that’s affected my teeth and gums but I’ve had major stretch marks from early childhood and I think that was an issue for me. My hips flop out way to the side and I’m happiest sitting crossed legged on chairs. My hips are absolutely killing me now, and I keep getting awful pelvic pain and lower back pain which is hormonal or adenomyosis or some other annoying reason. Wah!
Imagine if they actually put funding into researching how to improve our quality of life! That’s the dream! I can’t see it happening any time soon either sadly.
Urgh. I’ve just been reading up on hysterectomies, which led me to read about vaginal prolapse (a potential side effect of surgery), and the NHS website says EDS, Marfan Syndrome and joint hypermobility can make a prolapse more likely.
Sounds like a rough experience. Your articles are always so well written and you make the technical stuff easy to understand.
I need to book my dental hygienist appt, with not driving at the moment and how much energy leaving the house can take - I’d rather use that energy for something more fun! ME impairs the mitochondria resulting in a body that doesn’t regenerate energy easily - I know even just keeping my mouth open all that time will take out of me, and make me worse for several days, so I’ve been delaying until Im back in a more mild phase of recovery. But your article has prompted me to not leave it much longer. Love to you, W and the kids. Becs xx
Hi Becs, it’s lovely to hear from you and thanks for your kind words! Oh that sounds so tough. If only we could get mobile dentists and hygienists who can come to our homes. Is that a thing? If your dentist is anything like mine there will be a looong waiting list so you could book soon and hopefully feel a little better when the appointment comes along. Lots of love to you both xx
Holy shit! So much here. I’ve been traumatised by the dentist and hygienist and recently had a cleaning session that turned me almost comatose for a few days 😭 I sucked my thumb until 11 too, had braces at 15 and now at 51 my teeth have all moved and are less than straight. Sometimes it feels like they might all fall out.
I’m a regular flosser and brusher but reading this story really reinforces that despite my hatred of the dentist I’ll keep going back.
Thanks for writing and sharing. I am so sorry this has happened.
Do you have a dentist who understands your fears and can support you with that, alongside providing dental care? I used to lie in the dentist chair with my eyes squeezed tightly shut and feeling like I was being tortured, but that I deserved it because I didn’t look after my teeth properly.
Then my orthodontist noticed and told me to keep my eyes open, watch what they were doing and know that what I thought was going on was not as bad as what was actually happening.
It helped a lot! But you might benefit from some other techniques that a knowledgeable and empathetic dentist could offer.
But no wonder you avoid it, nobody wants to expose themselves to their greatest fear. 😭
I was talking to a friend this morning - we both realised we had hypnobirthed and home water-birthed our second of two sons each. We compared phrases from our hypnobirthing tracks - in hers, she was instructed to “turn the pain dial down”, and in mine, the contractions were conceptualised as “surges” to ride out. It is relaxing even thinking about it now. Given how high my blood pressure is at the moment, I should probably reinstate it on the daily! Without having to give birth, obvs.
It’s great that you choose to meditate rather than having to dissociate.
Thanks for thinking of me. Good luck with finding a dental care team you feel more comfortable around. 🥰
I've been reading your blog from the start, Sam, with great interest and many points of self-recognition, but this is the post that's finally pulled me into a big response!
I sucked my dummy (at night) and thumb (during the day) all the time until I was 6. I only stopped because the peer pressure was becoming intense. And also because by that time my front teeth stuck out so much I couldn't put my lips together. I was also dealing with, as my dentist at the time described it, "teeth that are too big and a jaw that is too small" ie the perfect storm. So as well as the horrendously buck teeth on the top jaw, my bottom teeth were so crammed together that they overlapped.
My adult teeth started to come through when I was 6, which I believe is quite early. As soon as they came through, they got pulled out, even though they were perfectly healthy. I had 8 teeth removed in the end, between the ages of 6 and 8, in an attempt to reduce the overcrowding. I then wore a brace (an old fashioned wire one, not today's permanent braces) all day and all night until I was 14, and then at night until I was 18, in an attempt to bring my front teeth back into some sort of alignment. (Nothing was done to improve the state of my bottom teeth, other than having a bit more space due to the missing teeth, so there's still some majorly unpleasant overlapping going on at the front.)
Adding to the fun of the whole thing is the fact that my bottom jaw is actually set back by about a centimeter, so even when my front teeth finally got reasonably straight, they still looked like they were sticking out because they couldn't (can't) line up with my bottom teeth. When I was signed off by the orthodontist at the age of 18 he said that if I was bothered about the jaw misalignment, they could break my bottom jaw and reset it forward. They would then need to lop some off my nose and my chin to make them match up again. Unsurprisingly, I declined his generous offer...! My face might be a bit weird and wonky, but it's the one I'm used to.
Anyway.
My childhood dentist was always having a go at me about "not brushing my teeth well enough" and especially about not flossing. But damn that flossing tape felt like steel wire cutting into my gum! No way could I tolerate it. Not to mention that forcing it between teeth that were jammed tight together with not the slightest bit of space between them wasn't exactly easy. These days I have one of the modern little plastic stick things, which is a lot less painful - and if I'm doing well I remember to use it about once a week, which is better than nothing, yes?
I guess I'm lucky that brushing twice a day was totally grilled into me as a child by my mum, who has a pathological fear of losing her teeth after seeing her older sister have half of her teeth pulled out as a 21st birthday present(!). But when I had a total collapse of all self-care capacity immediately post-Brexit (like, immediately, within 24 hrs after the results were announced, and not recovered since - there's a whole other story around that) regular tooth brushing was one of the things to go by the wayside, and my sugar intake also coincidentally (not) increased at the same time.
Also, thanks to fairly nonexistent family finances for the last 15 years due to chronic illness in the household, I didn't get to go to the dentist for, yeah, basically 15 years. It's only in the last year or so that I've been able to start going again (thanks to having a job that provides a smidgen of financial support with health costs). If I get to the point of being in a position to benefit from/need a gum graft (which is becoming ever more likely the older I get - see the next para) I very much doubt I'll actually be able to afford one :-( which of course just increases my guilt about not looking after myself "like I'm supposed to". Ah, happy days.
In addition to all of these shenanigans, I've been struggling with gum disease since I was at least 6. It periodically flares up and I go through a painful period of bleeding gums which recede slightly. Flares appear to be for no apparent reason but I've had my suspicions that it's at least partially linked to stress - and especially for my most recent, longest and worst flare up ever, which has happened over the last 6 months or so (during which time there's been even more stress from a range of factors/life areas than "normal").
The idea that it's also influenced by my damned hormones is just the cherry on the top.
Oh! And. I'm also in the process of getting formally diagnosed for autism. Whodathunk. Not me, that's for sure. I've spent 50 years thinking that I was weird "simply" due to a collection of childhood traumas. But it might actually be those PLUS neurodivergence? Even better.
Anyway anyway.
Thank you so much Sam for all that you share here, it is incredibly valuable and very much appreciated x
Oh Nikky, thanks so much for your epic comment! I’ve read it all and am so grateful for you sharing so much. I’ve got homeschool stuff to get ready for the day now (plus an ARFID kid to try and feed), don’t want to read and run, but also didn’t want you to think I hadn’t acknowledged you.
There’s so much in your comment that I’ll need some time to process please and get back to you properly later.
Oh your autism assessment sounds exciting! Yes, trauma skews the autism assessment process and can mimic autism. But I don’t know any autistics who are late diagnosed and free of childhood trauma sadly. We are more vulnerable to abuse as well as finding the sensory environment a major onslaught on our nervous systems. It’s like we never stood a chance.
If you’re keen, we could get together sometime soon! ☕️
PS: Don’t get me started on Brexit! Why did they think they could “leave Europe”? Britain is part of Europe. I can’t even…
This is really helpful to hammer home the message from my sisters last weekend, and dentist the month before. I did order another toothbrush for downstairs to try and make sure my son does twice a day (after my trauma of watching him go under for tooth removal at the hospital- also Halloween), but really need to raise my own game (as hereditary in our family).
A lot easier now there a better ways to ‘floss’ than that awful white string that used to cut the circulation off in my finger tips- I just couldn’t get on with it!
Having sucked my fingers for years, the closest I’ve come to replicate that feeling is co-regulation with a purring cat, preferably with face buried in soft fur……
Aww cat floof is the best, until it sticks on my face and goes up my nose!
I’m trying to get my kids to brush thoroughly twice daily too and they just don’t care 🤷🏻♀️
My youngest had denial surgery a couple of minutes ago as well 😢
Have you tried a water flosser? It’s really weird in the beginning but the you’ll quickly get the hang of it. My hygienist insisted I needed one. I find mechanising the tasks of brushing and closing removes the margin of error due to my poor technique 🙈
Yes! They recommend using it in the shower if you’re new to them as it can get messy. Obviously use a handheld unit, not one plugged into the mains like mine! 💥
Oh god yes, it’s all coming back to me…..funny what you forget (but did have the ex in it, so that memory can go back in the box 🤣). Imagine small person would freak at any blood……shower could be perfect!
I started writing a big reply then deleted it (social media anxiety!
Just wanted to thank you, I found this interesting and motivating. I'm 39 and have a family history and already some areas of receding gum. I'm about to haul my tired ass out of bed to floss and brush.
I have TMJ and the clusterfuck of conditions associated with ND, the more I do now to prevent things the better.
Appreciated hearing your experience of sertraline, I'm in a highly anxious state after too many demands piled up and I've been tossing up trialling psych meds
I'm super grateful for you and for ND chronically ill wisdom, lived experience knowledge base is the way forward!
Hi Nic, prevention is soo much better than cure in this case! 😭
I’d hate for you to go through a gum graft too.
Thanks for all your lovely kind words 🥰
Oh I’ve been on low dose Sertraline since I was diagnosed autistic and anxious. It’s also been fine alongside my ADHD stimulants.
I’ve tried others but haven’t responded so well. Around Christmas (I think?) I was on mood stabiliser Lamotragine. It’s supposed to be a sedative but I had unbearable insomnia with it.
But it was well timed because I was taking it at the time I was hit by a car, and I don’t have any residual trauma from that. Although my injured foot does get sore from time and time to remind me to rest it.
Yesterday I managed a three hour walk with friends though! I found a good sturdy stick and used it to help me with balance and support. It was invaluable!
It’s incredible what we can recover from, but kindest to ourselves to avoid as much potential for trauma as possible where possible.
I wish I’d flossed with better technique when the dentists told me to over a decade ago 😭
Aw Sam, I don’t have the capacity to reply as fully as I’d like 🤣 but yeah I have lost both sides lower back(3 on each side) in the past 3-5 years—coincidentally timed with perimenopause and late neurodivergence diagnosis…
Oh Nicola, that must be so upsetting! Do you have dentures now? I’m not up to speed on what the options are once we lose teeth.
Why weren’t we warned about this stuff? 😭
Yeah, think it’s called a bridge?? Not sure if I’m honest. Just affording to have my right side done now.
Yeah the whole dental hygiene thing and my inability to just do it from habit, is frustrating af 🤔🫣
It’s all so crazily expensive! I think it’s part of the ADHD tax due to executive functioning difficulties. So upsetting 😭
OMG. I am 53 and was officially diagnosed as autistic a month ago. A few yar ago my dentist was very concerned about the bone loss in my jaw. My doctor did a bone density scan and felt it was within normal ranges. I definitely grind my teeth. I do recall a mouth guard being suggested, but I wish more emphasis had been given. My 6 lower middle teeth are loose, have bone loss, and recessed gums. I had braces and also have a tongue thrust. I thought that was corrected when I had braces as a teen but apparently that is not the case. Since, I have acknowledged I am Autistic I have noticed my childhood habit of sticking out my tongue has returned. I have my teeth cleaned every 3 months and I have the periodontist clean my teeth annually. The periodontist placed a wire behind my bottom teeth to help stabilize. They still move. Last year he said I have no active gum disease. I am uncertain about what the long-term fate of these teeth will be. I use all the cleaning techniques you mentioned in the evening. I may need to step up my brushing game in the morning. I also agree that prevention is much better than a crisis and hopefully costs less too.
Hi, I’m sorry you are going through this too. I wonder if the mouth guard will help at this stage? It could provide some additional support overnight so if you’re grinding those teeth are protected. I need to get new overnight retainers made to keep my teeth aligned but it’s all so expensive and requires more executive functioning than I have right now.
Congratulations on your recent diagnosis! I wrote this a while ago on the topic:
https://samgallowayaudhd.substack.com/p/rising-up-after-your-midlife-autism?utm_source=publication-search
The mouthguard helps. In hindsight I probably needed to get it much sooner. I really don't think my dentist did a great job of explaining why I needed it. Part of this may be that understanding what I hear can be challenging.
Yes, it’s so hard to take in information when we are in stressful clinical environments. Just wanting to leave can stop my recall of what they actually said. Plus they anticipate that we have the EF to just follow up on recommendations.
My dental surgery has it on file that I’m ND, and the hygienist is great. She explains everything, walks me out to reception and lets the receptionist know when next to book me in, so I can’t forget on my way from chair to desk!
I take detailed notes at all medical appointments because I don’t trust my brain with important information anymore. I used to have an exceptional memory, but it’s failing me in autistic perimenopause.
I’m hoping it will improve over time post-menopause 🤞
I’m so glad you’ve got the mouth guard now. Better late than never!
My biggest problem is with ophthalmologists. I see one every 6 months due to cornea issues. I asked one of them to write down my diagnosis and he gave me a pathetic look, but did write it down for me. This idiot was highly recommended, but I will never go back. I don't have any intention of stroking your ego!!
He sounds awful! Is there someone else you can see instead? I try not to go back to professionals if they make me feel comfortable. Bearing in mind I rarely feel comfortable!
It seems as if you may be gathering your own body of evidence for a study with this post and it's comments...I too was a thumb sucker, had a speech impediment as a child and an now smack dab in the midst of perimenopause and two years ago my teeth literally just started crumbling and falling out. My gums are rapidly receding and my teeth have started to shift like crazy. I also have hypermobile EDS and these issues are also common with that connective tissue disorder. EDS is also highly common in the neurodivergent population so maybe there's also a link there... who knows, maybe one day they'll actually think to study the aging autistic female population and we'll know more (but I doubt seriously I'll see that in my lifetime unfortunately).
If only I had the capacity for any kind of formal research. I’d love to do a PhD but I think it would be the death of me 😭
Yay for thumb-sucking but I’m so sorry to hear you’re losing your teeth. Do you have dentures to replace them? I think in earlier comments Nicola mentioned getting a bridge but I don’t really know anything about that.
Ah yes, hypermobility and connective tissue disorders. I don’t think that’s affected my teeth and gums but I’ve had major stretch marks from early childhood and I think that was an issue for me. My hips flop out way to the side and I’m happiest sitting crossed legged on chairs. My hips are absolutely killing me now, and I keep getting awful pelvic pain and lower back pain which is hormonal or adenomyosis or some other annoying reason. Wah!
Imagine if they actually put funding into researching how to improve our quality of life! That’s the dream! I can’t see it happening any time soon either sadly.
Urgh. I’ve just been reading up on hysterectomies, which led me to read about vaginal prolapse (a potential side effect of surgery), and the NHS website says EDS, Marfan Syndrome and joint hypermobility can make a prolapse more likely.
Why is everything so awful?!
Sounds like a rough experience. Your articles are always so well written and you make the technical stuff easy to understand.
I need to book my dental hygienist appt, with not driving at the moment and how much energy leaving the house can take - I’d rather use that energy for something more fun! ME impairs the mitochondria resulting in a body that doesn’t regenerate energy easily - I know even just keeping my mouth open all that time will take out of me, and make me worse for several days, so I’ve been delaying until Im back in a more mild phase of recovery. But your article has prompted me to not leave it much longer. Love to you, W and the kids. Becs xx
Hi Becs, it’s lovely to hear from you and thanks for your kind words! Oh that sounds so tough. If only we could get mobile dentists and hygienists who can come to our homes. Is that a thing? If your dentist is anything like mine there will be a looong waiting list so you could book soon and hopefully feel a little better when the appointment comes along. Lots of love to you both xx
Holy shit! So much here. I’ve been traumatised by the dentist and hygienist and recently had a cleaning session that turned me almost comatose for a few days 😭 I sucked my thumb until 11 too, had braces at 15 and now at 51 my teeth have all moved and are less than straight. Sometimes it feels like they might all fall out.
I’m a regular flosser and brusher but reading this story really reinforces that despite my hatred of the dentist I’ll keep going back.
Thanks for writing and sharing. I am so sorry this has happened.
Hi Lisa, that sounds so tough!
Do you have a dentist who understands your fears and can support you with that, alongside providing dental care? I used to lie in the dentist chair with my eyes squeezed tightly shut and feeling like I was being tortured, but that I deserved it because I didn’t look after my teeth properly.
Then my orthodontist noticed and told me to keep my eyes open, watch what they were doing and know that what I thought was going on was not as bad as what was actually happening.
It helped a lot! But you might benefit from some other techniques that a knowledgeable and empathetic dentist could offer.
But no wonder you avoid it, nobody wants to expose themselves to their greatest fear. 😭
I meditate. Go deep. And that works well. But I live in a small place so slim pickings as to who I get. But I’ll be finding someone else next time.
I had a brilliant dentist in Australia. Kind and compassionate with small hands 💗
I don’t know what it was with this last clean. I prepared myself and meditated but still it was difficult. 😞
But your skin graft sounds horrific. I’ve thought of you often this week after reading this. 💗
I was talking to a friend this morning - we both realised we had hypnobirthed and home water-birthed our second of two sons each. We compared phrases from our hypnobirthing tracks - in hers, she was instructed to “turn the pain dial down”, and in mine, the contractions were conceptualised as “surges” to ride out. It is relaxing even thinking about it now. Given how high my blood pressure is at the moment, I should probably reinstate it on the daily! Without having to give birth, obvs.
It’s great that you choose to meditate rather than having to dissociate.
Thanks for thinking of me. Good luck with finding a dental care team you feel more comfortable around. 🥰
I've been reading your blog from the start, Sam, with great interest and many points of self-recognition, but this is the post that's finally pulled me into a big response!
I sucked my dummy (at night) and thumb (during the day) all the time until I was 6. I only stopped because the peer pressure was becoming intense. And also because by that time my front teeth stuck out so much I couldn't put my lips together. I was also dealing with, as my dentist at the time described it, "teeth that are too big and a jaw that is too small" ie the perfect storm. So as well as the horrendously buck teeth on the top jaw, my bottom teeth were so crammed together that they overlapped.
My adult teeth started to come through when I was 6, which I believe is quite early. As soon as they came through, they got pulled out, even though they were perfectly healthy. I had 8 teeth removed in the end, between the ages of 6 and 8, in an attempt to reduce the overcrowding. I then wore a brace (an old fashioned wire one, not today's permanent braces) all day and all night until I was 14, and then at night until I was 18, in an attempt to bring my front teeth back into some sort of alignment. (Nothing was done to improve the state of my bottom teeth, other than having a bit more space due to the missing teeth, so there's still some majorly unpleasant overlapping going on at the front.)
Adding to the fun of the whole thing is the fact that my bottom jaw is actually set back by about a centimeter, so even when my front teeth finally got reasonably straight, they still looked like they were sticking out because they couldn't (can't) line up with my bottom teeth. When I was signed off by the orthodontist at the age of 18 he said that if I was bothered about the jaw misalignment, they could break my bottom jaw and reset it forward. They would then need to lop some off my nose and my chin to make them match up again. Unsurprisingly, I declined his generous offer...! My face might be a bit weird and wonky, but it's the one I'm used to.
Anyway.
My childhood dentist was always having a go at me about "not brushing my teeth well enough" and especially about not flossing. But damn that flossing tape felt like steel wire cutting into my gum! No way could I tolerate it. Not to mention that forcing it between teeth that were jammed tight together with not the slightest bit of space between them wasn't exactly easy. These days I have one of the modern little plastic stick things, which is a lot less painful - and if I'm doing well I remember to use it about once a week, which is better than nothing, yes?
I guess I'm lucky that brushing twice a day was totally grilled into me as a child by my mum, who has a pathological fear of losing her teeth after seeing her older sister have half of her teeth pulled out as a 21st birthday present(!). But when I had a total collapse of all self-care capacity immediately post-Brexit (like, immediately, within 24 hrs after the results were announced, and not recovered since - there's a whole other story around that) regular tooth brushing was one of the things to go by the wayside, and my sugar intake also coincidentally (not) increased at the same time.
Also, thanks to fairly nonexistent family finances for the last 15 years due to chronic illness in the household, I didn't get to go to the dentist for, yeah, basically 15 years. It's only in the last year or so that I've been able to start going again (thanks to having a job that provides a smidgen of financial support with health costs). If I get to the point of being in a position to benefit from/need a gum graft (which is becoming ever more likely the older I get - see the next para) I very much doubt I'll actually be able to afford one :-( which of course just increases my guilt about not looking after myself "like I'm supposed to". Ah, happy days.
In addition to all of these shenanigans, I've been struggling with gum disease since I was at least 6. It periodically flares up and I go through a painful period of bleeding gums which recede slightly. Flares appear to be for no apparent reason but I've had my suspicions that it's at least partially linked to stress - and especially for my most recent, longest and worst flare up ever, which has happened over the last 6 months or so (during which time there's been even more stress from a range of factors/life areas than "normal").
The idea that it's also influenced by my damned hormones is just the cherry on the top.
Oh! And. I'm also in the process of getting formally diagnosed for autism. Whodathunk. Not me, that's for sure. I've spent 50 years thinking that I was weird "simply" due to a collection of childhood traumas. But it might actually be those PLUS neurodivergence? Even better.
Anyway anyway.
Thank you so much Sam for all that you share here, it is incredibly valuable and very much appreciated x
Oh Nikky, thanks so much for your epic comment! I’ve read it all and am so grateful for you sharing so much. I’ve got homeschool stuff to get ready for the day now (plus an ARFID kid to try and feed), don’t want to read and run, but also didn’t want you to think I hadn’t acknowledged you.
There’s so much in your comment that I’ll need some time to process please and get back to you properly later.
Oh your autism assessment sounds exciting! Yes, trauma skews the autism assessment process and can mimic autism. But I don’t know any autistics who are late diagnosed and free of childhood trauma sadly. We are more vulnerable to abuse as well as finding the sensory environment a major onslaught on our nervous systems. It’s like we never stood a chance.
If you’re keen, we could get together sometime soon! ☕️
PS: Don’t get me started on Brexit! Why did they think they could “leave Europe”? Britain is part of Europe. I can’t even…
This is really helpful to hammer home the message from my sisters last weekend, and dentist the month before. I did order another toothbrush for downstairs to try and make sure my son does twice a day (after my trauma of watching him go under for tooth removal at the hospital- also Halloween), but really need to raise my own game (as hereditary in our family).
A lot easier now there a better ways to ‘floss’ than that awful white string that used to cut the circulation off in my finger tips- I just couldn’t get on with it!
Having sucked my fingers for years, the closest I’ve come to replicate that feeling is co-regulation with a purring cat, preferably with face buried in soft fur……
Aww cat floof is the best, until it sticks on my face and goes up my nose!
I’m trying to get my kids to brush thoroughly twice daily too and they just don’t care 🤷🏻♀️
My youngest had denial surgery a couple of minutes ago as well 😢
Have you tried a water flosser? It’s really weird in the beginning but the you’ll quickly get the hang of it. My hygienist insisted I needed one. I find mechanising the tasks of brushing and closing removes the margin of error due to my poor technique 🙈
We did have a water flosser years ago, wonder what became of it. Might be more ‘fun’ for the small person than the threat of interdental brushes 😉.
Yes! They recommend using it in the shower if you’re new to them as it can get messy. Obviously use a handheld unit, not one plugged into the mains like mine! 💥
Oh god yes, it’s all coming back to me…..funny what you forget (but did have the ex in it, so that memory can go back in the box 🤣). Imagine small person would freak at any blood……shower could be perfect!
I started writing a big reply then deleted it (social media anxiety!
Just wanted to thank you, I found this interesting and motivating. I'm 39 and have a family history and already some areas of receding gum. I'm about to haul my tired ass out of bed to floss and brush.
I have TMJ and the clusterfuck of conditions associated with ND, the more I do now to prevent things the better.
Appreciated hearing your experience of sertraline, I'm in a highly anxious state after too many demands piled up and I've been tossing up trialling psych meds
I'm super grateful for you and for ND chronically ill wisdom, lived experience knowledge base is the way forward!
Hi Nic, prevention is soo much better than cure in this case! 😭
I’d hate for you to go through a gum graft too.
Thanks for all your lovely kind words 🥰
Oh I’ve been on low dose Sertraline since I was diagnosed autistic and anxious. It’s also been fine alongside my ADHD stimulants.
I’ve tried others but haven’t responded so well. Around Christmas (I think?) I was on mood stabiliser Lamotragine. It’s supposed to be a sedative but I had unbearable insomnia with it.
But it was well timed because I was taking it at the time I was hit by a car, and I don’t have any residual trauma from that. Although my injured foot does get sore from time and time to remind me to rest it.
Yesterday I managed a three hour walk with friends though! I found a good sturdy stick and used it to help me with balance and support. It was invaluable!
It’s incredible what we can recover from, but kindest to ourselves to avoid as much potential for trauma as possible where possible.
I wish I’d flossed with better technique when the dentists told me to over a decade ago 😭